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2025-09-19 03:05:21 -07:00

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Home is a Moving Target

Sep 18, 2025


The first thing I notice when I land in Taipei isnt the humidity, its the English. The customs officer glances at my U.S. passport, smiles politely, and greets me with a crisp, "hello". Its friendly, but its also a signal: foreigner.

Back home in the States, the signals run the other way. Strangers will tilt their heads and ask, “Where are you really from?” To them, my black hair and last name are proof that I dont fully belong.

Two countries, two kinds of distance. In Taiwan, my Mandarin carries a soft American lilt. In America, my face carries a history I cant shed. The result is a strange elasticity of self: Im stretched across the Pacific, always a little too much and a little not enough.

And yet, in that stretch, there is unexpected abundance.

I love the late night chaos of a Taiwanese night market, the smoky perfume of oyster omelets, the sugar crust on fried sweet potatoes. I also love the messy creativity of American diners, where pancakes arrive bigger than the plate and coffee refills never stop. My playlists swing from Faye Wong ballads to Kendrick Lamar verses; my shelves hold both pu'er tea leaves and prepackaged mac and cheese. These arent contradictions. Theyre coordinates.

Belonging, Ive learned, isnt a single address. Its a moving target, a constellation of tastes, sounds, and memories that shift as I do. I may always be a foreigner in Taipei and a hyphenated question mark in California, but I carry the best of both with me, like dual passports of the heart.

Maybe thats the quiet gift of being Asian American: To stand in the middle of two cultures, to love them both fiercely, and to know that home isnt where people decide you fit. Home is everything you refuse to give up.